Man of the Year

Caleb Laieski is recognized for his work for safer schools, lobbying at the local, state and national levels.

By Glenn Gullickson

Photo by Cinthia Schmidt

Echo Magazine Man of the Year

Caleb Laieski

Arizona youth sets his sights on D.C. as he leads the way to help make schools safe for LGBT students

Ask Caleb Laieski about the highlight of his year and he immediately responds that it was the opportunity to meet the leader of the free world.

And even though the meeting with President Barack Obama during the White House LGBT Gay Pride Month reception didn't last much longer than it took to snap a photo, Laieski used the moment to lobby for LGBT youth. He suggested that the president would be well served to appoint an adviser on LGBT youth issues.

It was the latest of several initiatives that the 16-year-old from Surprise has embarked upon since he fought back after being bullied in his high school. In the past year, Laieski testified for bullying protections for LGBT students at the Arizona Capitol, then took the fight to Washington to lobby for federal protections.

For his work at the local, state and national levels to make schools safer for LGBT youth, Caleb Laieski is Echo Magazine's Man of the Year for 2011.

Lemons to lemonade

Laieski acknowleged that he's taken the bad situation of being bullied in school and made something good by working to see that other students are protected. Besides meeting the president, the rewards have included everything from media attention to heading up Pride parades.

It was 2010 when Laieski went public with his story of being bullied at Willow High School in the Dysart Unified School District in Surprise.

He was in his freshman year at the school and he'd had enough of being pushed around, the name-calling and the anti-gay slurs, being chased home from school only to be threatened by telephone calls and phone and email. He said teachers and administrators failed to help.

The school's anti-discrimination policy didn't include protections for sexual orientation and when he contacted the district he said he was ignored. "I kept telling them it was time to protect sexual orientation," he said.

Laieski founded his own organization, Gays and Lesbians United Against Discrimination (GLUAD), and went to work to mount a media campaign to put a spotlight on the problem. He appeared on Valley newscasts and was featured in publications, including Echo Magazine.

"I think the media really pushed this forward," he said. It may have helped that at the time, LGBT issues were starting to get a lot of attention, with national outlets reporting on bullying and youth suicides.

"I think it's inspired a lot of youth," Laieski said. "Believe it or not, youth follow the news more than we expect."

By the time school started in the fall of 2010, the district had changed its policy to include protections for sexual orientation. Laieski said things improved at school, at least for a while.

But while Laieski said he was proud and excited about what he had accomplished, by the time he turned 16 in January he'd had enough. He left school in the middle of his sophomore year, electing to finish with a Graduate Equivalency Degree.

Laieski said he hears from other gay young people on Facebook and by emails and occasionally contacts schools on their behalf.

"Everyone says it gets better," Laieski said. "But life is very difficult, kids are cruel. Life is going to be complicated for everyone. You just have to be strong and get through what you're going through. You have to make it better to get it better."

A public education

Since leaving school, Laieski said he's gotten an education in how the world works by participating in the political process.

He wrote to state legislators around the nation sharing information on bullying, then reached out to officials in every school district in Arizona in more than 3,000 emails to remind them about their legal obligations to keep students safe.

By February, with the Arizona Legislature in session, Laieski was front and center during a House Education hearing, testifying in support the Arizona Safe Schools Act, which would have included protections for LGBT youth.

For the first time, Laieski said he teared up as he told his story. But he was disappointed that when he started speaking, Rep. Rich Crandall, chair of the committee, left the hearing room to conduct a conversation in the hallway.

"It's a shame that ‘the boss' walked out on the youngest person testifying," Laieski said. Crandall never put the legislation to a vote and the bill died.

Caleb with Vice Pres. Biden

"Arizona has a lot more work to get done," Laieski said. "We need some fresh voices and fresh politicians."

Laieski said that the Arizona legislative disappointment inspired him to go national, and the reaction to his work has been different. "As I've moved from Arizona issues to national issues, I find that I get a lot less hate mail and a lot more support," he said.

His opening to the national stage came when he learned about a plan for the first White House conference on bullying in March. He wrangled himself an invitation and collected the funds to make his first trip to D.C.

In a couple of months he was back at the Capitol, this time to lobby Congress for the Student Non-Discrimination Act, which would include protections for LGBT youth.

Over several weeks, Laieski visited about 200 Congressional offices in his quest, which he conducted as an individual rather than part of a group. He said it's one of many tactics that the community can employ. "It's more powerful in a different way when a young adult speaks out about young adult issues," he said.

The legislation has been stalled in Congress, leaving Laieski to wonder if an opportunity wasn't missed to make more progress on LGBT issues before Republicans won control of the U.S. House in 2010.

Along the way, Laieski met with Kathleen Sebelius, secretary of Health and Human Services. During the federal LGBT Youth Summit she included Laieski's story in her speech. "She's definitely an ally of our community," he said.

Caleb with President Obama

Meeting the president

Then the invitation arrived for what would be Laieski's second visit to the White House. This time he donned a tuxedo for the LGBT Pride Month celebration in June.

Laieski said he was among a few people called from the party to pose for a photo with the president. "I said, ‘Thanks for everything you're doing," Laieski recalled of his conversion with Obama.

"Meeting the leader of our country was pretty inspiring," Laieski said. "Those few minutes with him were very rewarding and important."

Laieski broached his idea for a youth adviser on LGBT issues. He repeated the proposal when he met Vice President Joe Biden at the reception.

To promote the idea, Laieski started a petition drive on change.org and collected 6,000 signatures, but he said then the White House launched its "We the People" website for petitions and he hasn't gathered the required number of signatures there to have it submitted.

Laieski said he's continued to work on the idea by emailing senior White House advisers. If the position were to be established, he acknowledged that he would like to be appointed, but he says there are others who could do the job. "The most important thing is to get the position launched," he said.

Caleb serving as youth grand marshal in this year's Phoenix Pride Parade

Youth Grand Marshal at Phx Pride

Laieski's past and future

Laieski was born in Phoenix. His parents split up when he was an infant. Even by the time he was 8 years old, Laieski said he knew he was different from most of the other boys.

He remembered that when he was 12 his father ignored him when he tried to explain that he'd developed a crush on a neighbor boy. But weeks later, he found support from his stepmother during a long tearful family talk.

While shocked at first, Laieski said his father has come around. "He has definitely come a long way, without question," he said.

His mother also sometimes struggles with having a gay child, Laieski said. "She just loves me as a son," he said.

Laieski said there was trouble at school as early as sixth grade, but it got worse when he moved to middle school in Surprise. "It was one thing after another," he said, including locker room incidents, where other boys would avoid changing next to him.

Compounding the grief, Laieski said that while he was in school a friend committed suicide.

Laieski said he made no attempt to conceal his sexuality, coming out to friends. "If you asked, I'm an honest person, I'll tell you," he said.

Laieski said he likes the idea of being part of the change. "How we make the change is being the change, and part of that is being open about who we are," he said.

He said gestures as simple as holding hands in public "shows people there are gays in the area." But he acknowledged that it's an idea he's still working on with his boyfriend. "You have to show that we're here and we're not that much different than them," he said.

Laieski's work has been noticed by the community. In April, he rode at the front of the Phoenix Pride parade as the event's first youth grand marshal. In November, he was grand marshal of the Palm Springs Pride parade.

As the year was coming to an end, Laieski said he was taking a break from his activism to deal with personal issues, including filing for emancipation. He will be featured in a documentary about bullying, Bullied to Silence, which is to be released on the Internet in 2012.

Laieski said he's taken the placement exams for college and he plans to study political science and law enforcement.

"I've learned a lot about the processes and how our politicians act and how to appeal to them," he said. "It's kind of like college, it's life experience."

Laieski said he's considering a career in politics, where he's been inspired, but also occasionally disenchanted. "I've got my hands into politics, maybe too much," he said. "I've seen the good and the bad."

But the young man who has done so much in the past couple of years hasn't been discouraged. "I have a lot of things I want to do," he said. -E